Wedding Wednesday: Change of Plans

It’s been a long time since my last Wedding Wednesday post and unsurprisingly, quite a bit has happened since then! Early this year–like so many couples getting married during the pandemic–we made the difficult decision to downside our wedding from around 150 people at Colgate University, where we met, to 25 in a much more intimate setting. As a type-A planner who hates uncertainty, the idea of being on standby for several more months to see how things may play out was not something I was comfortable doing; it became clear we knew we’d have to make the call early and have plenty of time to re-plan our wedding, or take a chance, wait, and potentially scramble to rework everything in 2-3 months.

Our new plan includes just our parents, some very immediate family, and our small wedding party, with a virtual livestream for those who won’t be there. Our vendors were amazing and understanding–we got all our deposits from Colgate and local vendors, which I know is rare–and our new venue is basically something out of my dreams. It’s not something we’d have pulled off for a large wedding, but it works perfectly for us with the new setup. We were also able to keep our date, planner, and photographer! There were lots of tears (mine) and stress about whether we were making the “right” decision but when it came to the health and safety of those we love and people around us, we didn’t want to take chances. Most of our guests would be getting on a plane–domestically and internationally–and the idea of keeping everyone on standby for a few more months wasn’t something we wanted to do. It’s kind of crazy to think we assumed only a fraction of our new group would be vaccinated by the wedding but now all of us are with several weeks to spare! The progress we’ve seen in the US has been incredible but a lot of my family is in India and while they’re safe, it’s tough to swallow that they wouldn’t be able to make the trip while so many of us are starting to travel again.

While pretty much nothing about our time engaged and wedding-related events went as planned, we’re really excited about the alternatives and making the call was a huge relief for me personally. It’s really hard to think about florals, menus, and basically anything logistics-related for a wedding you think may not even happen! The hardest part has been accepting that my extended family won’t be there…I’m close with my cousins and aunts and uncles and really never thought they wouldn’t be at my wedding. Our original wedding also included an Indian ceremony on Friday (with the “western” one on Saturday) and we’re foregoing the former for now. We haven’t even thought about what that will look like down the line and are just taking one step at a time!

My heart goes out to anyone in this position, especially those who have had to completely cancel or postpone their big day. This year has been challenging enough from a health and safety perspective and even though weddings do come with so much unnecessary frivolity, a lot of that is part of the fun. I’m so grateful that we were able to come up with the best possible plan B. My friend Emily wrote about her own similar experience (we’re basically on parallel timelines for everything related to our weddings, with her being a few weeks ahead of me!) and every single thing she says resonates with me, too. It’s a crappy situation, but we’re all making the best of it!

My goal is still to share all the details and plans of our new day after it takes place but in the meantime, I’ll continue to do a couple Wedding Wednesday posts about some of the pre-day happenings and things I’m working on. Our to-do list isn’t insane but I know the next few weeks will probably end up being busier than I expect! I’m hoping to have the creative energy to share here in “real time” but regardless, a large part of why I’ve loved having this blog is to document memories for myself…and of course so there’s no way I’m skipping the wedding ;)

Photos from our engagement shoot | by Kate Headley

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